Thoughts on International Travel with Mates

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I just got home from a c. two week trip with three of my high school friends to China (Xiamen, 2 days), South Korea (Seoul, 3 days), and Japan (Tokyo/Osaka, 3 days each).

I’ve been asked for tips on travelling overseas by more than five people now, and I’ve decided to write some thoughts up on how I view travelling, some key learnings, and concepts that could potentially empower your travel experience.

For some context, I’ve known these three lads for more than four years each - for three of us, this was the first time we had travelled internationally without a supervisor (parent or otherwise - some of these guys had travelled for competitions).

A warning: we didn’t go on holiday - we were travelling and were 100% flat out by the time we got back to our accommodation lol.

Travelling with Friends

I’ll be honest - the only downside of travelling with friends is the potential conflict in interest. Everyone will have different hobbies and different things that they want to do, so my best advice would be to travel with friends who are similar to you - because you’ll have similar interests.

For example, if you’re a risk-taking daredevil, you’ll be more likely to go bungee jumping if your mates are as well.

For us, we really enjoyed taking in the culture of the countries we travelled to, so we ended up walking a lot (nearly 20km+ a day) to see architecture and more local places rather than tourist attractions. We even agreed to take a half day trip to the Korean DMZ to appreciate the history and culture behind such a location. For me, it was the non-culinary highlight of the trip to genuinely experience such a location.

However, while three of us were keen to climb mountains to get good views as opposed to taking cable cars, one of us really wanted to go to Universal Studios Japan. A conflict in interest we had to work through. It’s really important to be clear with each other on what we enjoyed or didn’t enjoy.

Otherwise, I loved travelling with my close friends. We knew each other really well and had some insanely insightful conversations at 2am in our AirBNBs. We always felt safe in numbers and luckily didn’t get scammed, or come across any major hurdles.

What was great about being in a group is that we could delegate tasks for the next day. Some people would be on Nav, others would find food, others would research attractions - the burden was lessened. That being said, we booked flights and accommodation the week before. We made plans for attractions the day before as well. Not the best idea, but with the amazing Japanese/Korean subway systems, we could go anywhere we wanted. TripAdvisor and Reddit had some really nice recommendations.

I’ve travelled with family for most of my international trips and at times, I’ve felt quite frustrated about not being able to go see particular attractions. That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed those holidays - they were awesome experiences and I’d do them again in a heartbeat. But implicitly, when you travel with family, you have a larger conflict in interest.

The only way to guarantee your own freedom while travelling is to travel alone - I’m under 18, so that won’t be a reality for a while. Plus, there are so many safety issues that can arise, so I’d recommend travelling with a group or one close friend until you feel genuinely ready to travel alone.

Food

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to eat. China, Japan, and South Korea are some of the best places I’ve been to for food, and I don’t think we had a bad meal over our the course of our trip.

My best tip is to use local food guides.

Tabelog for Japan and KakaoMap for South Korea were lifesavers - sort by rating, and be ready to travel down alleyways of alleyways.

One of the first restaurants we went to (found on KakaoMap) was in a garage-esque setting, with toilet paper on the walls for us to use. The second we entered, we saw four tables of South Korean men laughing with 10+ bottles of Soju on the side. The staff didn’t speak fluent English, nor were the menus in English. The second we sat down, one of my mates said ‘this place is guaranteed bussing’. And it was.

From then on, we had a ‘bussing rating’ for each restaurant we went to. If it was highly rated on Tabelog/KakaoMap, the location was in an alleyway away from tourist attractions, the menu wasn’t in English and the staff didn’t understand English, if the restaurant was small, if they specialised in one type of dish (less than 5 menu items), we could give it a high bussing rating. Some of the best food I’ve ever had in my life were at these small restaurants, I kid you not. As we were young and hungry, we were okay with travelling more than 30mins and waiting in line to eat amazing meals. If there was a queue, that just meant that the food was even more awesome.

Don’t skip out on convenience store food either, especially in Japan! Their food is awesome for the price you pay, and definitely a vibe to grab some bread between meals or late at night. Street food is great as well - just be wary of price and location. Myeongdong street food in Seoul was crazy expensive, but Xiamen street food was cheap and delicious (the best Malatang I’ve had in my life).

Don’t worry about price too much - your accommodation and flights were already so significant. There is a bit of sunk cost here, but ten bucks is worth getting more food to be full.

Try to eat where the locals eat.

Culture

I think the best recommendations come from locals.

You live only one life, but can gain the best learnings from others through communication.

I’ve travelled with family for most of my international trips and at times, I’ve felt quite frustrated about not being able to go see particular attractions. That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed those holidays - they were awesome experiences and I’d do them again in a heartbeat. But implicitly, when you travel with family, you have a larger conflict in interest.

I will say that this trip caused a ton of reflection about the world I grew up in. When we experience new cultures, it often challenges us to analyse the way that people live, and how their circumstances have shaped that worldview.

As someone with Chinese heritage, I could identify some aspects of Chinese culture. Many people had this ‘hustle culture’, unashamed to do what it takes to reach success, which is a double-edged sword.

Of the cities I travelled to, I liked Seoul the best for liveability - the city seemed modern, and it seemed like Korean people knew how to have fun.

Japan (both Tokyo/Kyoto/Osaka) were great tourism destinations. I realised that there’s a lot of humility embedded in Japanese culture. Locals seemed to not speak a single word on trains, at restaurants, and didn’t even say thank you (arigato gozaimasu) - they preferred to bow their head in thanks and you’re welcome. Definitely a really interesting culture.

We went to a small sushi restaurant in Tokyo (Shinbashi) and started chatting with the sushi chef (who had 20+ years of experience), using google translate. His eyes seemed to light up when we said that we were 17/18 years old, and he started telling us about his time as a sushi chef. I had ordered the sea urchin sushi, and showed him a photo of the rock fishing I had done with my family back in Sydney - he pointed at the abalone we caught. Later, he treated us to some abalone, placing one piece each on our plates - there was one left over, and we invited him to eat it with us. By the end, he seemed to have tears in his eyes, and the last thing I heard was ‘I wish that more young people would come to my restaurant.’

I think he said this because there was another couple in the restaurant (which was at full capacity with 6-7 people), who didn’t seem to say much to the chef. The guy was buzzing with energy, and I think we lightened up his day. Conversation and meaningful human connection, even across language barriers, seems to brighten everyone’s day. It’s no wonder that social connection is so integral to human longevity.

If you’re ever in Tokyo, I do recommend trying this place out. Here is the Tabelog link: https://tabelog.com/en/tokyo/A1301/A130103/13256255/

This is the awesome sushi chef. The least I can do is to give him a shoutout here :)

I ended up being separated from my three friends on the train to Kansai Airport in Osaka (I was told to go to the first carriage from the front… they were from the back), and didn’t have any WiFi. So instead, I started to chat with some Japanese high schoolers over Google Translate. I asked for their favourite drinks - they said Asahi Beer. When I told them I had just graduated high school in Australia, they seemed quite surprised. We continued to chat about their high school experiences, commute, favourite pasttimes, relationships, and so on - I knew little to no Japanese but ‘anime’ and ‘manga’. They recommended me one - message me if you’re interested for it. I won’t show their faces here, but I did get their Instagrams. It’s so crazy how even through a language barrier, we can meaningfully connect with other people in our shared human experiences.

There are many more stories I can tell about my travels, but I’ll save that for my journal to perhaps share one day. But my challenge to you, if you are travelling, is to immerse yourself in both tourist and local experiences. Go to the main attractions, like Mt Fuji or Fushimi Inari, but also go to the tiny sushi bars, the local bakeries, and eat in the park (if socially acceptable).

If you’re comfortable, or even uncomfortable to, I challenge you to actually talk to some locals. I believe that humans are inherently good (which is a long discussion for later), but given the right situational judgement, chatting with people who have lived in a foreign country for their whole lives can teach incredible things about how we each live in our little corners of the world.

Remember that safety is your first priority, but closely following is to completely immerse yourself in the experiences of a foreign culture. Do things you wouldn’t normally do, seek novelty in experience, and try to stay off your phone.

Enjoy the present moment. Take it all in.

Yurui

PS. Something interesting to consider is the experiencing vs remembering self. This is a bit of mental gymnastics so don’t read about this if you just want to have fun.

I’ve realised that our brains process time through novelty - this is why mundane weeks seem to fly by, whereas my time on holiday seemed to last forever to my experiencing self. Looking back (the remembering self), it was only two weeks I was away from home, but it felt like two months in the moment. I don’t think there’s any answer or main takeaway here, but rather something to keep in mind. The message stays the same - cherish every moment.

And if you can, record any moments or learnings with a journal. Paper or online, it doesn’t matter. Take as many photos as you can.

PPS.

Here’s my itinerary. Happy to chat more about my experience - shoot me a message.

11th Nov: Flight to Xiamen, Malatang
12th Nov: Flight to Incheon, express train to Seoul and trekking to the hotel, shopping at Myeongdong, KBBQ tourist trapped LOL, climbed mountain to N Seoul Tower, enjoyed the view + banana milk. Fell asleep really quickly.
13th Nov: Late start, bakery breakfast, Gyeongbokgung palace, Bibimbap lunch, walk to Ichon Park, pork belly dinner, and back to hotel. Majority of time was city exploring!
14th Nov: DMZ tour, juicy BBQ pork shoulder, Hongdae, river sunset with old Korean fishermen (this was super cool), pork bulgogi dinner, Itaewon, and Bingsu at our hotel.
15th Nov: 4:40am wake up, flight to Tokyo, check in to AirBNB, Ichiran ramen, Shibuya crossing + Shibuya Hikarie photos, Todenbori photos, TeamLABS art experience, Kamata pork Tonkatsu.
16th Nov: Delicious ramen in the morning, train to Mt Fuji, climbing a mountain for good views, Lawson dinner by the lake, train back to Tokyo, Senso-ji, ice cream with an old man, and more Lawson for dinner.
17th Nov: Late wake-up, soba/tempura, meeting one of our friend’s friends, Rinko Park in Yokohama, 7/11 food, super cool sushi chef, Lawson dinner, meeting Perth woman on the train, VERY LATE (2:30am) sleep as we prepare to leave Tokyo for Osaka tomorrow.
18th Nov: 7/11 breakfast feast, Shinkansen to Osaka, Kushikatsu Osaka, AirBNB chill and workout, Dotonbori eats (Takoyaki, Yakitori, and McDonalds), food shopping for my brothers.
19th Nov: Train to Kyoto, tsukemen, climbing Mt Inari/Torii gates, bamboo forest, running around for a restaurant, Yakinuku adventure/banter, philosophy at 3am.
20th Nov: Wake-up at 11am, train to Nara, Starbucks and Mochi, Nara Park deers, Uji green tea, Kyoto eel, early night at AirBNB.
21st Nov: Late wake up, AirBNB supermarket pork belly and beef, Kani Douraku crab, Bic Camera shopping, Gyukatsu Motomura Namba, Matcha ice cream, Japanese high schoolers, flight to Xiamen, nearly scammed twice, Malatang (again).
22nd Nov: Slept in, Haidilao, skewers with street chefs, blog in airport, flight to Sydney

Overall trip bussing rating: 9/10